Saving Your Marriage for the Right Reasons

So you think you want a divorce?  Maybe you do and maybe you should.  Not all marriages are right and not all marriages can or should be saved.  Just be sure you’re doing the right thing and are aware of all the consequences of a severed relationship.

Certainly dangerous and abusive marriages should not be saved if they’re beyond hope.
If your spouse has been unfaithful it would be hard to forget and forgive especially if it’s happened more than once.  Spouse’s who’ve been convicted of a criminal act and sent to jail or prison is a valid reason to seek a divorce. 

As you can see these charges are serious but even these reasons can be resolved and a marriage can be saved if both parties want to work it out and are sincere in their efforts.
You once loved your spouse. 

Has this changed?  Can you accept the fear that the next marriage may be worst than the first?  It’s not easy starting the dating game again especially if you’re older and there are children involved.

Divorce causes so much loss.  A divorce robs you of time with your children and in most cases time with your family and friends.  Friends will likely be choosing only one of you so you may lose friends completely.  You’ll lose money and property when the settlement divides everything in half. 

All the good things you remember about your marriage will become only a memory.  You may also forfeit your security and self esteem.  It’s very selfish to believe that only you will suffer loss.  Other people lose too when their friends and family get a divorce.

Maybe you should try to save and improve your marriage.  At least decide if you’re considering a divorce for the right reasons.  Sure, you’re entitled to your feelings and opinions but when you stop to objectively assess the situation, your interpretation may be wrong.  A lot of misconceptions can be made when you’re angry.

Many couples seek a divorce because one or the other is too demanding.  One could require more sex and attention than the other and you’re tired of giving in.  One out of five marriages today is existing without intimacy.  This is a serious but not irresolvable problem.  A good marriage counselor could help.

Husbands and wives sometimes let themselves go to the point neither is attractive anymore and would rather leave their spouse than do something about it.  It’s easy to let the pounds accumulate and maybe you don’t fix up nice anymore.  Start an exercise class together, get spruced up at least one night a week and take your spouse on a date.

Money can always be a problem when one spends too much money, sometimes secretly, and can’t let the spouse know.  Divorce seems to be the easy way out.  Sit down and communicate.  Solve your money matters together.  With your spending habits improved you’ll save more than your marriage.

After thorough examination, if you determine you’re seeking a divorce for all the right reasons, go ahead.  On the other hand, maybe the reasons with a little love and dedication can be resolved and your marriage saved. 

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